I often dread easter. I've had a lot of hard times around this holiday and often find it quite an anxious and sad time. This year is no different.
As I mentioned I had my baby 2 weeks ago. You hear the comments about how life changing it is and you never really understand until you experience it. When my angel boy was born the birth was hard. Labour started off good and then he got stuck. We got there in the end. The first week with baby was difficult. So much to learn in such a short amount of time, and all with another human being depending on you. The hormones have kicked and there are a lot of tears.
I've also been experiencing the extremes of life, with the birth of my son and love and connection with my husband plus the grief of my parents separation and walk towards divorce. My heart hurts so much. I feel bad I don't feel more for my son and so sad at the loss my parents are experiencing. One parent wants to leave the other and it's hard to watch that happen helplessly.
The days are moment by moment. Distraction. Disillusioned. Depression. Confusion. Smiles. Tears.
This day is a day of new life and new hope. Amongst the unknowns. The sun is shining. Looking to the small things that bring joy.
At the moment there is a couple on the TV who have been married for 70 years. When asked of the success of their marriage and life, they reply....." You shouldn't dwell too much on what's gone before or whats lays ahead, but make the most of the day you've got".
With that said. Enjoying what is now, here is my son. He's beautiful, he's a gift. He brings a raw emotion. He is pure!
